[原创]冬夜叹

宜信

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 31.5pt; mso-char-indent-count: 3.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">　　</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">叶隙流清月，<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">平塘落陨星。<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">飞来天外石，<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">梦破鸟惊心。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><p></p></span></p>

老茶坊主

<p>韵?</p>

蓝天孤鹤

结句化用，熟。

宜信

<span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">押的是新韵，“心”在“人勤辙”，“星”在“庚东辙”，按“十三辙”的押韵规则，“人勤辙”和“庚东辙”是可通押的。谢谢关注！</span>

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-12-24 8:37:34编辑过]

宜信

<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">　　　冬夜叹<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 58.5pt; mso-char-indent-count: 6.5;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"><p>&nbsp;</p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">叶隙流清月，<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">平塘冷酷星。<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">飞来天外石，<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">梦破鸟惊心。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><p></p></span></p><p><p><br/>这样改一下，是否好些？<br/>又，小诗是旧作，原写的是我的情感生活。现在翻出来，主要是有感于生活现实，当今社会，又让我的梦破碎。<br/></p></p>

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-12-25 7:47:54编辑过]