蓝天孤鹤 发表于 2006-11-15 18:17:08

[原创]学写词三首

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

<b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><p></p></span></b><p style="TEXT-INDENT: 154.6pt; mso-char-indent-count: 11.0; mso-char-indent-size: 14.05pt;"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">望远行</font></span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br/></span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">一地蛩鸣悲寂寥，别后山高水遥。书窗何来鸟啼娇，柔丝心系几条条？</font></span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></b><font face="宋体"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">伤旧事，怨琴萧，梦里秋花未凋。诗魂多瘦愧郎腰，把酒无语立中宵。</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><p></p></span></b></font></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: 154.6pt; mso-char-indent-count: 11.0; mso-char-indent-size: 14.05pt;"><font face="宋体"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">菩萨蛮</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><p></p></span></b></font></p><p><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><font face="宋体">一身傲骨西风妒，疏香肯向严冬度。暗影伴清吟，任他风雪侵。</font></span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"><br/></span></b><font face="宋体"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">身随和靖去，便有芳名苦。千载岁寒心，几曾魂梦临。</span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"><p></p></span></b></font></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: 112.45pt; mso-char-indent-count: 8.0; mso-char-indent-size: 14.05pt;"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">浪淘沙</font></span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">
                        </span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">次纳兰性德韵</font></span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br/></span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">逐梦在边城，老却诗声。光阴荏苒路难行。几度花开叶又散，好景能凭？</font></span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br/></span></b><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">心事似浮萍，辗转无成。身轻怕对几层冰。极目闲云追月去，惹起离情。</font></span></b><b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><p></p></span></b></p><p></p>
[此贴子已经被作者于2006-11-15 18:18:42编辑过]

梅若雪 发表于 2006-11-15 19:44:34

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

拜读.似乎少点什么 溜走~~~~~~~~~~

云中化蝶 发表于 2006-11-15 20:18:52

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

<p>好象少些蕴藉：）</p><p>觉二好过。</p>

潇湘渔歌 发表于 2006-11-15 20:19:17

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

<p>词律是没问题的。注意一下意象之间的内在联系就好了。问好！</p>

蓝天孤鹤 发表于 2006-11-15 21:01:34

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

谢三位，于词知之不多，真是初学，肯定问题多，请多指教为盼！

梦落疏篱 发表于 2006-11-15 21:34:37

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

孤鹤兄平时不大动词笔,初作如此,起点已很高了.加游!

梅庐 发表于 2006-11-16 07:48:42

上面诸位说的是。蓝天兄词中诗味浓，呵呵，昨晚还真没有看到 ：）

景秀 发表于 2006-11-16 21:11:54

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: navy; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ascii-font-family: arial; mso-hansi-font-family: arial; mso-bidi-font-family: arial;"><font face="宋体"><strong>一身傲骨西风妒.仿佛好句,但没有意义.虚</strong></font></span></p><p>走向自然,走向友情.绝无抱怨.</p>
[此贴子已经被作者于2006-11-16 21:16:51编辑过]

蓝天孤鹤 发表于 2006-11-16 21:18:08

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑



山下诗人 发表于 2006-11-17 00:00:38

本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 14:07 编辑

拜读

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