调笑令·秋月
本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 13:52 编辑<p><font face="宋体"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font size="3"> </font></span></span></font><span lang="EN-US"><font size="3"><font face="宋体"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></font></font></span></p><p></p><p class="MsoPlainText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 34.5pt;"><font size="3"><font face="宋体"><span lang="EN-US"></span></font></font></p><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体;"><font size="3"><font face="宋体"> <p></p></font></font></span><p></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: 54pt; mso-char-indent-count: 3.0; mso-char-indent-size: 18.0pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial;">调笑令·秋月</span></font><font size="3"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="宋体"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></font></span></font><span lang="EN-US"><font size="3"><font face="宋体"> <p></p></font></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"> 秋月,秋月,不道离人愁绝。姗姗夜半临窗,</span></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">似说银河路长。长路,长路,晓起一天浓雾!</span></p>
本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 13:52 编辑
后面好,前面:不道离人愁绝----欠, 秋月,秋月,屡见少圆多缺
本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 13:52 编辑
<p>天堂改的好.</p><p></p>
本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 13:52 编辑
改“屡见少圆多缺”的话,作者和月亮之间的“亲密关系”就大受影响了。整个词的“意脉”就不太连贯了。谢谢两位的阅评!
本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 13:53 编辑
我觉得改后不及原作
本帖最后由 樱林花主 于 2015-10-6 13:53 编辑
谢梅子!
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